So, I know what you’re thinking, but really, it’s not a slight against Windows 10. Well, I don’t think it is. Mind you, having the members of New Blue Death beat the crap out of a malfunctioning PC on stage would be pretty satisfying though. (If the band is reading this, take this as a note for your final show.)
Yes, that’s right. This week’s bootleg-ee is on the verge of breaking up and tearing a hole in what is left of my somewhat beating heart. I’m sure it’s purely out of spite, too. Look, dudes, I got 182 on my cholesterol exam. I’ll likely die of a heart attack in the next few months anyway. You’d think you could stick around at least that long. Sheesh.
But, yes, nothing we can do can stop their demise, so instead I’m going to focus on the good times I’ve had with each member. There’s a Branvanesque whole 8 of them, so settle in. (Turn on the tracks above.)
I met NBD through Maggie in mid-2014, who was then splitting her time between Baekma and NBD, who I met through Nice Legs. I met everyone through Nice Legs, but I met Maggie in a direct hand off. I think my first words to her were something along the lines of “Didn’t you just get off the stage?”
Baekma and New Blue Death did a lot of shows together back in the day to save on Maggies. Mentioning this fact became one of our four “things.” I’ll list them
1. Commenting on how many times she’s been on stage.
2. Pointing a camera at her while she pretends to have seen Donald Trump without his hair. #topical!
3. Pelvis thrusting to Table People‘s “Ride With Me.”
4. Writing erotic bandfiction about other local bands.
I regret none of these.
I met the rest of the band soon after. Like, maybe 10 minutes after. Adam B, the leader, has the shapes and vocals of a successful cult leader. I mean, not one of those suicidey ones, but one of the ones where you get super rich and start wearing matching sweat suits all the time, but not one of those ones where everyone wears them together when they commit suicide. I’m talking zero suicides here. 0.
I feel like I’ve not conveyed a compliment correctly. It doesn’t really matter, he’s not on Facebook so he won’t read this anyway.*
Adam B is not to be confused with the other Adam, Adam H. Apparently there’s a surplus. I like him because he lets me pretend I’m Newfie. I mean I’m half, and I lived there for like 8 years, but he takes things to the next level by not making me me suck on a dead cod for full legitimacy, so we’re all good.
Ethan is the all-knowing guitarista, who seems to be okay with us pelvic thrusting in the crowd when he plays with Table People. He’s the dude you call out into the crowd for when your setup stops working half way through a set. Well, he’s the guy I call for, but I’m sure that’s fine. I mean I’m sure he doesn’t mind me grabbing him from his lovely fiancée and making him work on his nights off.
Alberto is a bit strange. He has an actual job, like a good job, and yet he’s in multiple bands as well. Like, where does he get the time? Don’t people with jobs have to spend 12 hours a day in a cubicle or something? It’s kinda funny, but I didn’t know he had a Spanish accent until I’d known him for 6 months or so. Everyone sounds the same when you’re screaming in a live hall. We met at a recording studio once, and I was like, “Holy shit, you have a Spanish accent!” It was amusing.
Finally, there’s Chris. He’s the drummer. The only photo I have of him, and he’s wearing a Dolly Parton wig. Sorry dude, I spent more time with the Clavicle and Eilis and had time to get photos. ㅠㅠ I have failed you.
Yeah, so, they’re dead on Feb 13th. I mean, the band is… Look, I’m sure they’re not joining some suicide pact. (See above). The final show is on the 13th.
One day before Valentine’s Day seems fitting some how, ya fucking bastards.
See youse around?
*Hah! You read it!